Things I remember about Stephen

In Dec 2007, we completed the dry run of Project Timothy in CBC SEA Park. I approached Stephen Choi, the head tutor to express my desire to be a tutor. Kathleen and I were the only ones from the Chinese church. He smiled and said ok. I have been with PT-Asia since. I have gone through 1 complete cycle of PT and I am now in the 2 of 6 semesters of the 2nd round.

Here are some of the things I remember about this friend, mentor, sifu of mine.

• His smile
• His trademark moustache
• His love of God
• His love for the Word of God
• His love for the people of God
• His humour

I always enjoy the PT tutors meeting where Stephen would wait for the others tutors to share their thoughts, and then with a smile, bring up some of the things he observed from the Bible. This is usually followed by dumbfounded silence and a few daring attempts to answer his questions. He'd then share his suggestions. I always enjoy learning from my fellow tutors but Stephen made learning a very interesting and enjoyable experience.

I am very inspired by his faith in God especially during his times of trial. He really kept his eyes on the author and finisher of his faith.

Stephen is now back to be with Jesus. I will miss him very much.

On the 4th day of Chinese New Year ...

Today is the 4th day of Chinese New Year.

I have with me the cough that had been bugging me since 1 week before Chinese New Year. I will go see Dr. Chau (my own doctor) if necessary. The panel clinic doesn't work for me.

I am very thankful for the following:

• Son, Jesse is doing his A-levels in the Methodist College Kuala Lumpur. I hope he gets back his motivation. He can be unstoppable when he is in form. He got 7 As in his UPSR. Perhaps too much success to early. I never really recovered from my 8 A1s in SRP. I got arrogant. I hope he doesn't.
• My dad is free from tube and urine bag. The medicine worked well. He could pass urine just fine. To quote Wei Lymn, the new standard is no long being able to eat and sleep, but also to be able to take in and discharge.
• SOL 1 and SOL 2. Jesse and Kathleen both finished their SOL 1 and they are waiting for me. Due to a mistake in my schedule, I missed out one class for SOL 1 last year. I am going to take it on 11/02/2012 and I can graduate together with them. We have a few group studies to do for SOL 2. All in good time.
• Family - we love and care for one another. Being the eldest, I should go home more often. I will do just that.
• The wonderful people God put in my life. I have said it once, and I will say it again (plagiarized from Eric Bischoff from one episode of Monday Nitro) - you people put a smile on my face and a teas in my eye. Thank you for the hugs too. Wife thinks physical touch is my language of love.

During the few days away, I have been constantly praying for 2 friends in particular. I have regular people I pray for but I pray for these 2 in particular. One has cancer. One has a delayed dust mite allergy.

I am looking forward to a year of promotion as Pastor Daniel said. No, not just in terms of position but in terms of responsibilities. If we are faithful with the little things, God will give us bigger things. At this age, I am really learning to come back to God and no longer think I am very clever. I have been 'clever' for many years and the last few years of 'doing nothing' has humbled me a lot.

I am glad we are in DUMC. I think my dreams will come alive. And my shattered dreams will live again. With so many brothers and sisters to look after me, I will make it. I am counting the blessings of God everyday and I am looking forward to the end of 2012 when I will look back at a great year.

All glory to Jesus.

I'm in the office before 0700

Dad's appointment with the urologist is rescheduled to Thursday. The urologist's dad passed away (God be with them.) I spoke to boss and move my leave to Thursday.

I dropped Jesse at the Kelana Jaya LRT station (well, technically, I dropped him opposite the LDP). I didn't accompany him. Now that I am in the office, I am thinking I should have gone with him.

He should be ok. I perhaps worry too much. He dressed up so smart today.

I am so early in the office. I will get something done in the quietness of the morning.

Torn ... in many directions

Tomorrow, I am accompanying my dad to see a specialist for his prostrate issue. The appointment is scheduled to be very early to make it for the appointment in Klang. It's 0730! What kind of doctor is so hardworking? A urologist no less. He's a classmate of my sister. That's how. I hope we can find out how to fix it and my dad can be at ease again.

Due to time clash, I cannot accompany Jesse to his first day in college. The first two days will be orientation but still ... I wanted to much to go with him.

At another front, Kathleen has hated me more because I think helping her in her assignment is cheating. I think she is right. If others (read 'other female friends') ask me to help them with their school assignments, would I decline? Even Jesse think I should help.

The one that really tugs at my heart is the year end closing in the company. For the record, my colleagues are more than capable of doing their work on their own - even without me standing by and cheering them on. I was in the office on Saturday and today. But I won't be there on the first official working day of the year with my COMrades. I wonder how many will miss me. I know one may. The others I don't know. To make up for it, I have done what I could. I churned up some data when I came home from dinner plus last minute shopping for Jesse. The lunch arrangement today was a disaster. We have to each went our own way because one particular sandwich joint did not get our order ready and did not remember to call us to tell us.

In DUMC, we are told 2011 was a BETTER year. and 2012 is a year of PROMOTION. I don't care about the title I am given at work. I think I am being promoted to do more. I wish I can do just as much as I was doing 1 decade ago. I don't want to think I am already pass my prime or over the hill.

The best is yet to come! I am a work in progress.

2012

I just got back from the Watch Night Service at the Dream Centre. This is what I posted on Facebook.

"Just came back from the Watch Night Celebration. It was good. It sent a clear message how everyone can get involved in discipleship, CG and missions. I felt that God reminded me to trust in Him, to count on Him, to live by faith and not by sight. And that's something I want to do in 2012."

It was Søren Kierkegard who said that life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. I have heard this during sermons in DUMC at least twice. Once by Pastor Daniel on Boxing Day, 2010.

Year End Reminiscence #fb

It's 0201 in the morning. In the past week, I have either slept very late or dozed off.

I am normally very careful with my glasses. And I am adamant that Jesse puts his glasses in the case before he sleeps. But after I got this new and very costly pair of glasses, I have been sleeping while wearing it almost everyday. This is not right.

My company does reviews regularly. I think it will do me good to do my own review on my life (spiritual life, family, health, etc.)

There are 3 more days before we usher in a new year. For a colleague / friend (whom I refer to as my GM, i.e. gan mei or 干妹), it's another 16 days to her ROM (registration of marriage.)

I am bringing my department to a good lunch tomorrow. There are many things to do before the year is over.

I think I have done something right. I also think there are many things I could have done better.

I still sorely miss serving God and His people like I used to. Then again, perhaps it's just a matter of switching the focus from the church to the workplace. Either way, I don't want to waste my life away. I can most certainly do more (hey, I used to do more.)

Let's see what comes to mind in the next few days.

With Luv
Loong

Making Our Lives Count #dumc

Pastor Datuk Kee Sue Sing, 22/01/2011

Psa 90:1-12  A Prayer of Moses, the man of God. Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.  (2)  Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.  (3)  You return man to dust and say, "Return, O children of man!"  (4)  For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.  (5)  You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning:  (6)  in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers.  (7)  For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed.  (8)  You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.  (9)  For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.  (10)  The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.  (11)  Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?  (12)  So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Joy in what your are doing

As I listened to the beautiful violin performance by Joanne Yeoh - Violinitst Extraordinaire, I saw the joy on her face. Her smile and the occasions she had her eyes closed revealed how much she loved what she was doing.

I have always told people that I am doing what I love to do - preaching, leading worship, leading cell groups, teaching young people, studying Bible, working, helping people.

This morning, I wondered if I have lost the joy.  If so, what are the reasons? What has changed? Is it the circumstances? Is it me? Is it both?

As I listed to the songs and looked at Joanne's face projected on the large screen, I am inspired to imagine things can go back to what it was. In fact, it can be even better. I still love helping people. I still love my job. Now, if I am willing to let God work in the other areas of my life ...

In this season to be jolly ...

... I am missing the ass-kicking days.

I guess it's only natural for a man to get emo when he is spending Christmas alone on an annual basis. Not putting any blame to anyone though.

I have attended and helped out in many wake services. I sometimes ponder what will people say about me. What kind of legacy will I leave behind?

It’s a mad Madworld

17/11/2010 (Wed)
2 characters, 8 scenes, 1 MadWorld.

I have the privilege to attend the bloggers’ preview of MadWorld, a joint Christmas production by DUMC and SIB.

During the briefing before the run, Ronny Shim the producer,  explained that MadWorld is one word because the subject is not the world (as in the world being mad) but the people in the world.
The cast can dance. I got goose bumps watching a dance sequence before the preview proper. They can sing too.

MadWorld tells the stories of Adam, the victim and Lucas, the one who had it all. While their lives are worlds apart, they both seek the answer to the same question – “what is the value of their souls?” Does the value of our souls correspond to our possessions?

Two vast different views are represented by Pearly and Sinister respectively.

I had to ask Jesse the name of one song. It was Sexy Back.

What is Christmas really? Is there more to the celebration and party? While we are have a good time. Do we care about the suffering of the others?

So many are caught up in their own existence. We don’t even know that we are suffering.

I chose to focus on the stage performance. I didn’t look at the media on the monitors. With the media I will get the complete picture. The show is 80% non-verbal.

From what I see, this is shaping up to be a good show – heart pumping music, beautiful singing, powerful dancing, good choreography and an important question. Come to the MadWorld.

Show times at the DUMC Dream Centre (map here). No tickets required. Come one, come all.

• Dec 3 – 8:00 pm
• Dec 5 – 3:30 pm and 8:00 pm (2 shows on Sunday!)

There are four shows in SIBKL (map here). Tickets required.

• Christmas Eve, Friday – 8.00pm
• Christmas Day – 7.30pm
• Boxing Day – 10.00am and 7.30pm (2 shows on Sunday too)

I am a bit honest

I saw this quote from my iGoogle and tweeted it.

"Confusion is always the most honest response." ~ Marty Indik

I thought I was seldom confused. In my mind I always tackle things with surgical precision. I analyze things quickly and thoroughly.

This morning was a hectic one. Requests for help came one after another (and sometimes together.)

I got things done before lunch. I don't like to leave anything hanging.

Around 5 p.m. the pattern remained. I was on Skype with a colleague in Bangkok and another in Singapore. I was planning some meetings with my boss via Skype too. Then I decided to delegate something to my colleague (I seldom do that but I think it's time he picked it up) while answering a Gtalk call from a sister from the church.

Just when the sister mentioned the name of another sister from the Chinese church, I asked her whether the prayer meeting tonight was a combined one, since it involved a sister from the Chinese church. My reply was 'no, the other 3 are non Christians.' Huh? Oops. I have posed the question in my Skype conversation with my boss. Hmm ... I do get confused (and therefore honest) sometimes.

Need more practice with Octopusology.

To move or to stay?

http://www.dailyjesus.info/i-am-the-god-who-is-more-than-enough/

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New life?

I got a new battery for my HP iPAQ. In the past, I have to keep on charging it. It won't take long (around 2 hours) before it runs flat. If I took some calls, it would almost immediately kill the battery.

Now, it'a already been almost 2 full days and the battery is still half full. The new battery has given new life to my HP iPAQ. I have my contacts, calendar, etc. all in the phone. With a WiFi connection, I can use Gmail Mobile to read my mail and Opera Mini to surf net. If I want, I can even run fring to access Skype.

Vista has been acting up ... I formatted it and installed Windows 7 and the notebook is back to tip top form ... it has never been working so fast and well for a long time. Windows 7 has breathed new life into the old trusty notebook.

I wonder what message I am supposed to get from these two incidents.

Giving up? No way!

I shared with two sisters that it's been a long long while since I last felt unhappy.

This is not a big issue. It's supposed to work that way. If I am really thinking about the good of the whole group, I should be a good soldier and do my part. If I am going to be relegated to a drone that hardly adds value to the community, so be it ... unless I want to try another community.

This is definitely not a good time to look around let alone move around.

I should really learn to count my blessings. Let's see.

1. After the Thailand trip, I have a sort of a "change of heart" and I have been trying hard to "be good" to my family and loved ones.
2. I have started practicing "flash prayers" and I find it a wonderful thing to do.
3. After the 2-day Coaching and Mentoring workshop which I utterly enjoy, great speaker, practicing haka and all (not to mentioned getting to know her better), I look at my colleagues in a different light. This is not so much due to the workshop but the time I spent with my colleagues. I can genuinely try to love everyone now, yes, even those few.
4. She has overcome her problems. She has made her decision. I thank God for that. We have established a good friendship that is filled with fun and joy. I had a celebration lunch with her today.

So, why am I not happy? I will likely not be turned into a drone. I will still be contributing in ways that will tap into my intelligence, experience and analytical skills. I will still be as busybody as ever. That's not going to change. I will still have wonderful time with my colleagues. I can still learn to love what I do.

So, don't fret. It's a long way to heaven, don't sweat the small stuff.

Let's see how long I can remain sunny.

... sometimes it helps to have someone to shine on.

... then why do I still feel burdened?

If things have indeed worked out well for her, why do I still have a heavy heart? What is burdening me now?

I feel like there is something I need to pray / intercede. I don't know what that is.

Holy Spirit, please show me.

Blogging from LCCT

Here I am, very early in the LCCT terminal waiting for my flight. It's now about 1712 and the flight is scheduled for 1845. I booked my seat so getting ahead of the queue is not an issue. But I am always paranoid. I firmly subscribe to Murphy's law. Once I was late for a MAS flight to Singapore and we took a Singapore Airlines flight to Changi instead of landing in JB. That cost a lot of money.

As I prepare myself mentally and emotionally for my training in Bangkok, I still a burden.

I have shared in a previous blog (in Chinese) and at the moment it is not permissable for me to share more details. I'd like to say I am prepared for the worst but I am not sure if I have.

When I was sitting for my SPM. a friend of a friend whom I have grown a fond relationship with considerd not taking the Biology paper because it was too tough for her. I told her I'd help. And that she could come to my school for some last minute revision on the day itself. I told her if she didn't take the paper, I would not. Not taking  paper would have dire consequences. She didn't turn up, my friends told me she would take the paper so I did too.

Being more 'mature' (really?) and have more commitment and responsibility now, I don't make such rash decisions anymore.

I have an idea how I would like things to turn out. But that's what I want. It may not be what she (my friend in the current situation, not the one who took her Biology paper) wants.

I saw this quote in the Burger King joint in Mutiara Damansara (the three of us went there two nights in a row for supper! So much for eating healthy!) Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. In this case, I can only pray for her to have both success and happiness.

I have lots of happiness as far as my work is concerned.

And I am using Happiness in Kingdom of Loathing. It's a gift from a clan member. It helped me tremendously.

I wish I could be as helpful as I want myself to be.

Old Year Musings

It's the last day of the year. In less than 15 hours (I started this around 0915), people will be counting down everywhere to usher in a new year. I originally worked on a sermon on looking back the old year last Sunday. I didn't get to use it. It's ok.

Let me list things that were the year 2008 for me, in no particular order.

TV shows I like: Pushing Daisies.

This has got to be the best blend of death and comedy in a long while.

TV shows I like:  Burn Notice.

Best TV show in the year for me. It’s so funny.

Longtime desire achieved:

I finally got Christmas Shoes DVD in the video shop near the church. I always wanted to get this. I remember one Sunday afternoon when I watched this at home alone. I cried and cried and cried. I must share this with my family and friends.

Things I don’t like: Becoming a McD addict.

In the beginning, it was amusing when colleagues teased me for getting “McDonald’s again?” Then I dug up information on Supersize Me and decided if I wanted to be healthy, I should cut down on unhealthy food. Translating some MOH (Ministry of Health) materials exposed me to certain undesirable gejala-gejala. I could do without them. For the sake of my loved ones and myself, I want to stay healthy.

Things started in (the last few days of) 2008:

Low carb diet. Exercise. Don’t take too much food.

Things still happening in 2008: Misuse of credit card.

It seems like not a year went by without us fixing this. The fact that the former company didn’t pay salary for 2 months (they paid me back one month with one month notice after I left) didn’t help. The Biblical Studies on Financial Freedom helped.

Things stopped happening in 2008:

Preaching in Chinese service. Uncles, aunties, I cannot answer you why I don’t preach to you anymore. I don’t make the schedule.

Survived in 2008: BMCS (the Bahasa Malaysia Celebration Service)

Not that there was any doubt it would not. And it achieved its goal of 20 members. Now, if it could get on its feet and start walking …

Things done first time in 2008: 3-month prayer journey

That was good in so many levels. The family (and other families) prayed together. Brothers and sisters got a chance to pray for one another. We focus on the same prayer pointers and were set free in many ways. Kudos to Pastor Reynold. God bless him.

Things done first time in 2008: Project Timothy

This is good stuff. We had two semesters of learning together. Caleb is not a Jew. Boaz and Ruth did not have sex on the threshing floor that night. Imprecatory / cursing psalms are good for you. Watch out for parallelism in Psalms. Look for verses which repeat or reinforce the same thing, or contrast each other. Spot the pattern in the Psalmists’ writings. Someone told me someone told him if your faith is not strong, it will crack when you join PT. Now, where did that come from?

What a rush. We missed some key area in our testing. It’s ok. We will be more careful next time.

Things that have not happened for a long time: Bonus and Increment.

Those are good stuff. This company is here to stay. So is this employee.

There could be more  after this ...

Wardrobe Malfunction

It was about 1230. I went to the washroom before I went out to get lunch. The zip stopped working. The slider came off from one side. I struggled for a while to get it back. But I didn't trust it anymore. Not with a training going on at 1400.

I went to pick up the my house keys. Then I went out to get a taxi. No luck. I walked further. Same. I went back to the office to try to call one. Jane who was on duty gave me a number to call. No answer. Her attempt on another taxi company was met with an engaged tone.

I called my Fatt, my brother. No answer. I tried once more to think if there is a place nearby to get a new pair of pants. Nope. Didn't think so. Fatt called back. I told him my predicament. He said he had a meeting in Cheras at 1430 but he had time.

So, he sent me home to change. When I got back to the office, lunch time was almost over. I decided not to eat and just prepared for the training.

The training was wonderful. Truly interactive and productive. It was fun too. I am most glad that my colleagues were serious in learning up the system.

I am now in front of the idiot box (the one who watches it is not necessarily an idiot, mind you.) It's Monday night! It's TV-marathon with America's Got Talent, Burn Notice and Criminal Minds. Normally I would fall asleep halfway through Criminal Minds. I remember when we got 3 CSIs back to back on Monday nights. Those were the days!

p.s. The LG Cookie could prove to be an even bigger temptation to be than McDonald's. Each TV commercial I see gets my heart pumping faster. Phew. It's tough resisting the temptation to get one. iPhone is one thing with the price. LG Cookie? Hmm ...

200th Post - I am normal!

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman