Have sermon will travel?

Those in "my time" will know a TV Show called Have Gun Will Travel.

I don't remember much except for the first line of the theme song and a gunslinger with mustache. I do remember I watched it very often just like I watched Bonanza (this one I don't even remember the theme song. I just remember there are a lot of people.)

(A light bulb just lighted in my mind, I remember something.) I think I remember the conclusion of an episode of HGWT. The hero offered to help an old lady bury her son (no one was around because the son was a bad guy). She declined because it was the hero who killed her son. I distinctly remember she stuck the shovel a bit into the ground and jumped onto it and used her weight (which was not much) to bring the shovel deep into the ground before she dug the dirt out.

Anyway, the show (or rather the name of the show) is the inspiration of the title of this post.

In my new job, I have travelled twice and I will travel another time in the following week. All three times, I am scheduled to preached on the Sunday I am back. It may not be a coincidence. But far be it for me to spiritualize everything. If it happens a fourth time, then perhaps ...

I am going to Bangkok next week for four days to give trainings to my colleagues there. As usual, I will watch what I eat very carefully. My accommodation comes with breakfast. And I am told time and again the tom yam there is good. D'oh (to quote Jesse quoting Homer Simpson.)

One would think being along away from home, I'd have more time with God and hence can spend more time with the sermon. True, I do get to spend more time with God. I can do 100 sit ups every night. But I also get lazy. Time is spent watching TV (it was CSI-mania in Singapore. One after another) and playing games.

I am only preaching once a month. I have plenty of time. But most of the time, I would work on it up until Saturday.

I lost my voice after leading worship for the 2nd service 2 days ago.

I think I will keep my voice on 09 Sep 2007.

Headache ... and what me nervous?

I had lunch with my BHP sister today.

She got to try out the Sago Gula Melaka. She told me her Belacan Friend Rice didn't have enough belacan. My Chicken Minced Fried Rice had no taste. I think I can tell it apart from white rice blind folded but it made my sensitive tongue very unhappy.

I always think we eat for energy (and to continue living) AND to enjoy. Normally, when I don't get the 2nd part, I will go and buy something for my tongue. A chocolate bar perhaps. Highly sour candy perhaps.

Despite the food, we had a good chat especially on worship.

I seldom eat out. I normally buy my lunch and eat in. I want to avoid smoke and I feel safer near to a washroom.

I remembered the previous day when I was scheduled to lead worship. I was pacing back and forth when the announcements were made by Pastor Michael prior to the worship. I led the 1st service without much problem.t I was ok, I told myself. But my mind told me otherwise. After Pastor Michael handed me the mic, I stepped down almost immediately and told him I needed to go to the toilet and requested him to open the time for testomonies, etc. Then, in a bold act (which did not turn out to be foolish), I decided I could go throught it and I did.

It could be butterflies in the stomach. It could be irritable bowel syndrome. It could be psychological. It could be a spiritual attack / test. It could also be cancer. Or it could have something to do with my diet. I don't dare to take breakfast unless we are having it next block from the office. I don't think it's due to anxiety or nervousness. I can go up to address lots of people without any stage fright. I have beed doing that since my school days.

Well, I am not nervous. I cannot remember the last time I was. Perhaps it was the long hours from 10 p.m. 09 Jan 1994 to noon 10 Jan 1994 when I waited in UH (now UMMC) for Jesse to be delievered. I am seldom shocked. Car accidents, thunder, etc. don't startle me.

I remember when I was younger, I don't even dare to go to the kitchen to take a drink. When I got to know God better, I dare to walk to the kitchen in the dark to get water. (God bless me with a good night vision.) There are many stories to tell, including the one when I was this close to step on a pile of broken glass. My barefoot was perhaps touching them when I stopped. That saved it from getting hundreds of (painful) holes.

Due to this condition, I normally don't eat when I have to do something important, like a demo (in my previous jobs) or when I travel long distance. I have not been having breakfast on Sundays since many years ago. Fasting is good.

Let me repeat, I am not nervous.

Patience I have little

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. - Ralph W. Sockman

I got the above in my iGoogle starting page.

I normally do my things quickly. There are things I drag my feet on, e.g. terminating the developments water bill account and apply my own. Hey, the previous owner stayed for 16 years without changing it. And the postman told me on Saturday that he delivered more than 100 registered mails to the houses around my area from the same developer. Either way, I will see if I can do it elentronically without having to pay Syabas a visit.

I have quite a bit of work lined up for me. One particular time-consuming and tedious work is pending the input (data) from someone else. They have missed their deadline. This in turn cuts down the time I originally requested to do my portion. And they still have not completed their part. I can still work harder and longer hours to meet MY deadline but I am the teenie weenie bit annoyed. I know, love is not irritable. Still, I could not help why that party could not get their part done in time.

I don't mind people who are genuinely pressed for time and pass me their work late. In this particular case, I just think they are being slow.

I think I am partial to the people I like. There are those from the church who can request my help at the eleventh hour and I will gladly help with joy. There are those however that I will still help but I will talk to them professionally (a matter of factly).

It's the same in the work place. To some, I'll respond immediately. But I will "follow procedure" for others, i.e. send email, get approval from Manager, etc. Some people are just ... tsk tsk tsk. I think God put them here to get under my skin. This is how I learn to be more patient.

My fellow students are on leave

A few text messages and quick conversation revealed that all saved my son are away today. Well, it's not like I have spent a long time preparing for the lesson today. I just have enough for a 3-hour session. Now I don't have to crack my head on how to cramp the material into 1 hour, plus constant digressions.

I am not discouraged. When they are here, they are attentive and obedient. They could have told me beforehand though. If they don't go to school, they will tell the teacher. This is my fault. I didn't make them realize the importance of this one hour per week.

I will have a separate session with Jesse at home. I will let him take a break. I still remember when he was four, he would sing praises at bedtime. At that time, I was still staying with my parents. My father, who had yet to know Jesus then was extremely happy and impressed to hear Jesse sing Jesus, We Enthrone You among other songs.

When they are young, they are moldable. No one will try to make a bonsai off a 100 year old tree. I take it upon myself to help build a firm foundation in those within my sphere of influence. Jesus had 12 followers. If I cannot even take care of 6 (or 7 including one who is not regular, and 2 more to be added as they turn 12 next year), I have no excuse.

The Million Dollar Mandate has a profound impact on my understanding of the need to pour my life into others. Attending the cell church conference in DUMC earlier in the year (hey, I applied for leave the 1^st day I report to work. God allows me to find favour in the eyes of my boss) helped me to see that we are in a journey together.

I am beginning to see that this pouring of life into others or mentoring or discipleship can and will take up all my time and heart and mind and soul. But first things first (Steven Covey said second things never!), I must be strong and healthy before I can coach / teach / disciple others.

I am starting soon.

Zzzz

I slept from 2:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

I feel recharged. Gone are the sore throats, flu and fever.

I probably didn't get enought sleep this past week.

Rest I must.

Rest I have.

Am I rested, in shape and ready to rumble? What is there to rumble? I am backstage now. Still, I am meeting my young students tomorrow. So far, there are three registrations to No Apology. I'll try to get all of them to go.

The Republic of Nauru

I got a free subdomain name from co.nr. I did a little bit of research and found the following information on the Republic of Nauru.

It's a 21 km² phosphate rock island in the Pacific. Majority of its 13,000 population are Christians.

Their motto is God's Will First.

When you are discouraged …

Have you been discouraged? Have you ever feel that it's not worth it anymore? That it's easier to just give up? I have. And I am still not entirely out of it.

I preached twice on the topic on Sunday (12 Aug 2007). A sister shared that preparing for a sermon takes her to the Bible. It's the same case for me. It seems like I only read the Bible when I am preparing for sermon or Sunday School. Either way, I will follow the points I used in the sermon.

Recognition

For a while, I didn't (or didn't want to) recognize it as an attack from the enemy. I was under the juniper tree. I wanted to remain there, sulking the time away. But thanks be to God that I wasn't alone. People came to visit me under the juniper tree. I was thinking of just leaving the church. I think there will not be any changes to the better. I just wanted to go. Kathleen thought it was not necessary. Jesse thought it was ok.

My prayer partner prayed together with me on this.

My H&L (heart and liver) sister didn't do her quotation to write me long emails.

I wasn't alone. These dear saints were patient with me. If it was me, I would have given the guy under the juniper tree multiple slaps to get him back into his senses.

Refresh

I rested alright. I kept quiet in meetings. I successfully overthrew myself as the leader of the worship team. I love serving the Lord with my fellow worshippers. It's been wonderful. But I want to give others a chance. I think newly appointed committee are ready. I don't want to hinder progress. I will probably not get involved in any leadership capacity in the cell groups too. I have been asked to be a cell leader the Sunday I came to CBC. I then gradually made the zone supervisor (this appointment was never recognized by Kathleen, heh.) There were tremendous growths before. There was also a great decline.

I really wanted to just go away. I would have if not for the dear people around me.

Reevaluate

My H&L sister helped me to get out from the me, myself and I zone to look at the bigger picture. It's God's church. No one can wreck it if He doesn't allow it. Who am I to worry? I made the decision to stay … and see. I just want to focus on my young fellow students in the Sunday School now. I am glad I can still talk to them. I am more glad that they will come to be in times of trouble. I take this responsibility very seriously. I am taking the journey of life together with them.

So, for every Ahab and / or Jezebel you meet who wanted to put you down, to kill you, to pretend to be good leaders, there is someone who genuinely cares for you.

We have to look at the eternity of the Kingdom. We have to look at the grand scheme of things.

Reengage

Sunday School is one area I want to continue serving. I don't mind if I don't preach anymore. I've already excused myself totally from worship duty. There are a few things in front of me. I need to pray and find out which one is God's plan for me.

I was discouraged. I may be a big headed person here. I want to see how others will fare when I am not around. I am already seeing things that we not properly done. But I will let it be. I am sure in time they will learn and do well.

Now, back to my own family …

The Blog has been inactive longer than it's allowed by law

The Learner is back, fully inspired by a sister's blog and with lots of things to pour out.

Unfortunately, his headache (and slight fever) since the morning has not left him. He will tell you more later.

Stay tuned. He has been keeping lots of things inside. He's going to share his laughters and tears with you.

May the Lord be with you.