When you are discouraged …

Have you been discouraged? Have you ever feel that it's not worth it anymore? That it's easier to just give up? I have. And I am still not entirely out of it.

I preached twice on the topic on Sunday (12 Aug 2007). A sister shared that preparing for a sermon takes her to the Bible. It's the same case for me. It seems like I only read the Bible when I am preparing for sermon or Sunday School. Either way, I will follow the points I used in the sermon.

Recognition

For a while, I didn't (or didn't want to) recognize it as an attack from the enemy. I was under the juniper tree. I wanted to remain there, sulking the time away. But thanks be to God that I wasn't alone. People came to visit me under the juniper tree. I was thinking of just leaving the church. I think there will not be any changes to the better. I just wanted to go. Kathleen thought it was not necessary. Jesse thought it was ok.

My prayer partner prayed together with me on this.

My H&L (heart and liver) sister didn't do her quotation to write me long emails.

I wasn't alone. These dear saints were patient with me. If it was me, I would have given the guy under the juniper tree multiple slaps to get him back into his senses.

Refresh

I rested alright. I kept quiet in meetings. I successfully overthrew myself as the leader of the worship team. I love serving the Lord with my fellow worshippers. It's been wonderful. But I want to give others a chance. I think newly appointed committee are ready. I don't want to hinder progress. I will probably not get involved in any leadership capacity in the cell groups too. I have been asked to be a cell leader the Sunday I came to CBC. I then gradually made the zone supervisor (this appointment was never recognized by Kathleen, heh.) There were tremendous growths before. There was also a great decline.

I really wanted to just go away. I would have if not for the dear people around me.

Reevaluate

My H&L sister helped me to get out from the me, myself and I zone to look at the bigger picture. It's God's church. No one can wreck it if He doesn't allow it. Who am I to worry? I made the decision to stay … and see. I just want to focus on my young fellow students in the Sunday School now. I am glad I can still talk to them. I am more glad that they will come to be in times of trouble. I take this responsibility very seriously. I am taking the journey of life together with them.

So, for every Ahab and / or Jezebel you meet who wanted to put you down, to kill you, to pretend to be good leaders, there is someone who genuinely cares for you.

We have to look at the eternity of the Kingdom. We have to look at the grand scheme of things.

Reengage

Sunday School is one area I want to continue serving. I don't mind if I don't preach anymore. I've already excused myself totally from worship duty. There are a few things in front of me. I need to pray and find out which one is God's plan for me.

I was discouraged. I may be a big headed person here. I want to see how others will fare when I am not around. I am already seeing things that we not properly done. But I will let it be. I am sure in time they will learn and do well.

Now, back to my own family …