The Biblical Family Hierarchy
Wife is to be a helper / helpmate to the husband, who is the head of the household.
帮助=替他做；扶持=鼓励、支持
To help = to do for him. To support = to encourage.
God put the wife in the family to help the husband to be the leader God intends him to be. Children are given to us so we can help them grow up to be what God wants them to be – not what we want them to be or to realize our unrealized dreams.
The Roles Both Play
To Preserve the Marriage
Heb 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.The basic role of a couple is to preserve their marriage.
Divorce rate is high. Parents sometimes encourage their children to get a divorce. The worldview today is that the man can make mistakes as long as he is not caught by the wife. Most men who commit adultery are careful initially. However, perhaps they wanted the wife to know so they allowed hints to be dropped. Men like to look for married women since they don't have to worry about bearing responsibility.
Christians needs to keep marriage holy.
How does a couple protect their marriage?
The Bible tells us to flee from temptation. Every one faces temptation.
Be Ambassador of Love
We also need to work on the marriage.
Eph 5:25-28 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (26) that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, (27) so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (28) In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Tit 2:4-5 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
How much do you know your husband / wife?
Energy (we are of different personalities.)
- Interactivity – you delight in working and interacting with people, yet also enjoying private moment
- Assertiveness – You do well speaking up when you have to, fighting for issues that matter to you and convictions openly
- Vibrancy
- Thrill Seeking
- Exuberance
- Spiritual, emotion, physical, intellectual, social and sexual needs
Mentors to Your Children
Tit 2:4-5 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
A father should have the first date with the daughter. Father should also bring the son out alone.
The Individual Roles - Husband
Submit to the Authority of Christ
Eph 5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (24) Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.As a Wise Family Leader
We must first understand the heart of God.... All who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways ...
Lead the family to seek God's vision and cultivate core values
- You are to be accountable to God for your leadership decisions.
- Study and know the Word of God, submit to it and apply it with love.
- You do not make decisions or take actions based on your feelings, desires or wisdom.
- Your decisions should always be for the benefit of your wife and children.
Husbands should remember the time they court their wives.
Pro 31:3-5 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. (4) It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, (5) lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
This is what King Lemuel's mother taught him.
Be a credible / trustworthy parent.
Deal with your sinful nature and run away from temptations.
Provide a stable family environment.
Be a good steward.
Individual Roles – Wife
Be a Noble Wife
Pro 31:11-12 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.Sometimes the husband avoids the wife when she is in distress because he doesn't know how to handle it.
The wife should appreciate a genuinely repentant husband.
Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
Be his good friend and great supporter.
Know your husband and compliment him.
Opposites attract. Sometimes we are attracted by a trait by our spouse but later find it not appealing.
Be a Diligent Home Maker
Tit 2:4-5 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
A husband may think doing chores is helping the wife but in fact both are responsible.
Take care of the daily needs of the family.
Do house work.
A Good Public Relationship Personnel
Some women have very strong personalities. They have to learn.
Pro 31:26-28 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
She can connect the husband and the children. She is also kind. The love between a couple and the love between the husband and his parents are two different things.
The Bible says elderly women should teach younger women to love their children and husbands.
Conclusion
幸福的婚姻是上帝的祝福
也是夫妻共同经营的结果！
A happy marriage is a blessing from God, it is also the fruit of the couple working together.
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