The church is a lighthouse. It draws to itself the lost. It doesn’t move. It stands its ground.
The church is to influence the community and not the other way around.
Mat 19:1-15 耶稣说完了这些话，就离开加利利，来到犹太的境界约但河外。 (2) 有许多人跟著他，他就在那里把他们的病人治好了。 (3) 有法利赛人来试探耶稣，说：「人无论什麽缘故都可以休妻吗？」 (4) 耶稣回答说：「那起初造人的，是造男造女， (5) 并且说：『因此，人要离开父母，与妻子连合，二人成为一体。』这经你们没有念过吗？ (6) 既然如此，夫妻不再是两个人，乃是一体的了。所以，神配合的，人不可分开。」 (7) 法利赛人说：「这样，摩西为什麽吩咐给妻子休书，就可以休他呢？」 (8) 耶稣说：「摩西因为你们的心硬，所以许你们休妻，但起初并不是这样。 (9) 我告诉你们，凡休妻另娶的，若不是为淫乱的缘故，就是犯奸淫了；有人娶那被休的妇人，也是犯奸淫了。」 (10) 门徒对耶稣说：「人和妻子既是这样，倒不如不娶。」 (11) 耶稣说：「这话不是人都能领受的，惟独赐给谁，谁才能领受。 (12) 因为有生来是阉人，也有被人阉的，并有为天国的缘故自阉的。这话谁能领受就可以领受。」 (13) 那时，有人带著小孩子来见耶稣，要耶稣给他们按手祷告，门徒就责备那些人。 (14) 耶稣说：「让小孩子到我这里来，不要禁止他们；因为在天国的，正是这样的人。」 (15) 耶稣给他们按手，就离开那地方去了。
Mat 19:1-15 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. (2) And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. (3) And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" (4) He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, (5) and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? (6) So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." (7) They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" (8) He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. (9) And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." (10) The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." (11) But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. (12) For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it." (13) Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, (14) but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." (15) And he laid his hands on them and went away.
Is it better to get married or to remain single?
If it is discovered that the marriage doesn’t work, is it better to divorce?
God created both male and female. God didn’t create many women from Adam’s ribs for Adam to choose. When we have no choice, we will accept God’s will. If a marriage has no love, it is not perfect. Marriage is instituted by God.
If the church understands the significance of marriage, then it can have a great impact on the community. The crimes are normally rooted from a broken family or failed marriage. A marriage is doomed to failure if it is not grounded on the Word of God. Children whose parents do not have a good marriage will be easily influenced by the peers.
If Satan wanted to destroy the belief or the growth of the church, the most effective way is to attack the Christian family. When more Christian families experience marital problems, then the church will be destroyed. No matter how much or how well we tell others about our belief, it’s not effective if our marriage is in turmoil.
A marriage is the most creative. Only when a man and a woman come together can create offspring. God wants man to be fruitful and multiply.
One night stand, living together (without marriage), promiscuity, pre-marital sexual intercourse are the tricks of the enemy. “Marriage probation” is further from co-habitation. They see each other as spouse but they are free to have their own relationship. There is no official bond. The temporary satisfaction will bring long lasting suffering. When one is trapped in such sins, they are able to bear good witness to God.
If we do not honour marriage as dictated by the Bible, we will fall into Satan’s trap.
The institution of marriage is to share life’s experience, to bring joy to the other, to remove loneliness, a covenant that is till death do us part, to be united in love, to be fruitful and multiply, to prevent promiscuity, to the complement each other, like a lighthouse to shine on the next generation, for man and woman to mature, to finish the will of God, to become one in soul, spirit and body. It’s a great mystery.
When two become one in a marriage, it’s a covenant and they are no longer two. Because of love, a man and a woman become one. They are no longer dependent on their respective parents. They are like Siamese twins. They can still argue. They have different personalities. To separate a married couple is like splitting a Siamese twins. A divorce hurts.
The Pharisees asked Jesus why a marriage could be dissolved by a certificate. Jesus told him Moses allowed that because of the hardness of the heart of the people.
cf 1 Cor 6 and 7
The Bible takes a Christian marriage very seriously.
1Co 6:18-20 你们要逃避淫行。人所犯的，无论什麽罪，都在身子以外，惟有行淫的，是得罪自己的身子。 (19) 岂不知你们的身子就是圣灵的殿吗？这圣灵是从神而来，住在你们里头的；并且你们不是自己的人； (20) 因为你们是重价买来的。所以，要在你们的身子上荣耀神。
1Co 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. (19) Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, (20) for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Sexual immorality or adultery is committed by married people while fornication is committed by unmarried people. In the eyes of God, sexual intimacy is only for one man and one woman under a covenant of a marriage where they dedicate their lives to each other. Only then will they have 100% satisfaction.
A successful man is one who only loves a woman in his whole life. This is a saying by an American actor. In Hollywood, many marriages end in divorce. The Bible tells us any sins we committed is outside the body but sexual immorality sins against his own body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
1Co 7:1-2 论到你们信上所提的事，我说男不近女倒好。 (2) 但要免淫乱的事，男子当各有自己的妻子；女子也当各有自己的丈夫。
1Co 7:1-2 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." (2) But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
In the epistles to the Corinthians, we see a distinction between Paul’s own thoughts and the Word of God. If it’s Paul’s own opinion, then it’s not a command of God. Paul recommended one to be single.
1Ti 4:1-3 圣灵明说，在後来的时候，必有人离弃真道，听从那引诱人的邪灵和鬼魔的道理。 (2) 这是因为说谎之人的假冒；这等人的良心如同被热铁烙惯了一般。 (3) 他们禁止嫁娶，又禁戒食物（或作：又叫人戒荤），就是神所造、叫那信而明白真道的人感谢著领受的。
1Ti 4:1-3 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, (2) through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, (3) who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
When we compare 1 Cor 7:1 and 1 Tim 4:1-3, we see that Paul did not forbid marriages. It was a recommendation. In Corinth then, prostitution is available at the temple. It was a culture. If a culture is influenced by the devil, we are to stop it.
Paul said to avoid the temptation of to sexual immorality, he encouraged them to get married and for a couple to try to satisfy the need of each other.
1Co 7:5 夫妻不可彼此亏负，除非两相情愿，暂时分房，为要专心祷告方可；以後仍要同房，免得撒但趁著你们情不自禁，引诱你们。
1Co 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
It’s only when they need to devote to prayers, abstaining from sex is allowed.
1Co 7:7-9 我愿意众人像我一样；只是各人领受神的恩赐，一个是这样，一个是那样。 (8) 我对著没有嫁娶的和寡妇说，若他们常像我就好。 (9) 倘若自己禁止不住，就可以嫁娶。与其欲火攻心，倒不如嫁娶为妙。
1Co 7:7-9 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. (8) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (9) But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Paul would rather everyone be like him. But it’s better to get married if they cannot stand the temptation.
1Co 7:10-16 至於那已经嫁娶的，我吩咐他们；其实不是我吩咐，乃是主吩咐说：妻子不可离开丈夫， (11) 若是离开了，不可再嫁，或是仍同丈夫和好。丈夫也不可离弃妻子。 (12) 我对其余的人说（不是主说）：倘若某弟兄有不信的妻子，妻子也情愿和他同住，他就不要离弃妻子。 (13) 妻子有不信的丈夫，丈夫也情愿和他同住，他就不要离弃丈夫。 (14) 因为不信的丈夫就因著妻子成了圣洁，并且不信的妻子就因著丈夫（原文作弟兄）成了圣洁；不然，你们的儿女就不洁净，但如今他们是圣洁的了。 (15) 倘若那不信的人要离去，就由他离去吧！无论是弟兄，是姐妹，遇著这样的事都不必拘束。神召我们原是要我们和睦。 (16) 你这作妻子的，怎麽知道不能救你的丈夫呢？你这作丈夫的，怎麽知道不能救你的妻子呢？
1Co 7:10-16 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (11) (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. (12) To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
To those who are married, Paul encouraged the person whose spouse is an unbeliever to remain married so that spouse can know God. A divorce is allowed only when an unbeliever spouse wanted to end the marriage.
Many see divorce as a solution to a failing marriage. God doesn’t want that.
